One of my biggest pet peeves has always been having someone whom you don't know, stare at you. Because I have no illusions of being a person of particular interest, I can't help but wonder why anyone would want to stare at me.
My husband asserts that I must also be a starer--otherwise, I wouldn't know I was being stared at. I tell him I'm an "observer" rather than a starer. Big difference.
Were I a starer, the only way I would know I was being stared at would be to fixate on one person who...was also a starer?
When I was a kid, I'd sometimes say to my mother, "That person is staring at me!" Her advice was to give the person a taste of their own medicine. "Stare back!" As an adult, I wonder if this was the best advice.
If you stare at the starer, will they think *you're* some weirdo who's staring at them? Will they view it as a challenge and be prepared to lock eyes with you until your contacts dry up and fall out of your head? Or...will they think you've got it going on for them? I'm not fond of any of these scenarios.
I've also noticed stares tend not to be neutral. I put them in one of two categories. There's the smirky, shifty-eyed stare, as if you have a raccoon sitting on your head. When this happens in a restaurant, I invariably check in between my front teeth for any offensive substances.
Then there's the "I got my eye on you, sister!" stare. When this occurs, you'll notice the person's eyes narrow and their face becomes pinched. I wasn't aware I was a person of suspicion. However, these people seem to view you as KGB, a member of Manson's Family and Freddie the Flasher all rolled into one.
I've also noted that there seem to be prime staring locations. Panera is the A number one local in my area for starers. I'm not sure if it's the kind of hang out for a very long time while you eat set up, or if starers have a secret society where they assign people certain locations.
Of course, staring can also be very innocent. I was once eating dinner with my sister and nephew. My nephew kept insisting that, "Mommy, that old woman is staring at me!"
My sister didn't want to hear about it, but the woman clearly was. My nephew and I, being the observant types, are on to those starers!
When we got up to leave we passed the woman's table. She smiled at us at said, "He looks so much like my grandson--such a beautiful boy!"
Maybe that's what I'll tell myself. I look so much like someone's daughter, niece, best friend...and just leave it at that.