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I Can't Tell YOU That
My older son is having oral surgery to remove his wisdom teeth. I was not at the consultation as my husband took him. I was under the assumption that between the two of them, they could relay accurate information to me about the procedure.
Not so...conflicting information from both and both generally clueless.
My main concern was what anesthesia was to used, the risks involved, etc. So I phone the oral surgeon's office and state, "I have some questions about my son's surgery."
The lady on the other end of the phone incredulously replies, "Well...I can't tell YOU that."
???????
I try again. "My name is Heidi Morris. My son Tommy is scheduled to have surgery." She cuts me off and says, "I can't tell YOU anything!"
When I ask her why, she says she can tell me nothing about the procedure because Tommy is 18 and he needs to give permission.
I tell her that's all fine and well, but he is my child. He is still in high school and still living at home.
Now her voice is rising in both pitch and volume as she informs me that, "He is an ADULT."
In turn, my voice is rising as I tell her, "I am his MOTHER and he is my CHILD and what sort of parent would allow a procedure to be done without having good, accurate information!?"
While I appreciate that we have privacy policies that protect our medical information, no one is going to be operating on my kid without my having a clear understanding of the procedure.
Finally someone sensible came on the phone. Otherwise, we would have been looking for a new oral surgeon.
Comments
On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 5:21 PM, Showroom Queen said:
Hi Heidi, I'm also proud to call you my friend. I underwent a total pelvis and right hip replacement on Nov. 23 of "10, and know what you mean about concerns with ansesthesia.
The "expert" that attended me during my surgery gave me so much I almost didn't make it back. I was told later by the nurses who attended me that I was out over 10 hours, and the staff was panicking. Finally I came to, 15 hours after a 2 hour surgery. You have every right to be concerned. So I hope it did g0 well for your son.
When I met Martina in 1999, I had been divorced for 2 years. I also hadn't seen my own 2 children in 2 years. Their father was very controlling, and ultimately keep both children away from me for over 5 years. I also had had a miscarriage in 1995 due to him beating me. I was about as "low" as a woman could get without physically harming herself.
Before going to work in the showroom, I was already familiar with Martina's music. My daughter's and my favorite song that we would sing together (she was 7 at the time) was "Valentine". So you can imagine the effect it had on me when I heard her sing it "live" for the first time.
In 2000, Martina came back t0 the showroom for two shows. I got to know her a little bit during those two days-we shared some stories, etc. But at the end of the Meet and Greet on the second night, after everyone was gone, she grabbed my hand and said, "I have a surprise for you. Come with me."
She walked me back out onto the stage, and suddenly all the spotlights went back on, and here was her husband at the control board, and her band members (including her brother) in place on stage. She turned to me and said, "We're going to do a duet tonight. You and I are going to sing "Valentine" together for your daughter, and I will mail a tape of it to her for her birthday present this year."
It took a few tries (actually more than a few because I was crying so hard) but eventually I realized what a "GIFT" the lady was giving me, and it was like God came down, dried the tears, nudged me in the back, and I just got "calm" and stood there and belted it out with her. When John said, "Perfect", Martina hugged me and said, "Damn Straight".
Yes, my daughter did get the tape. But her father destroyed it before she ever heard it because he didn't want her to think her mother was capable of doing something beautiful "for her" with a major recording artist.
She is now 24, and still will not have any contact with me.
I now work in a job with NASCAR, and have seen Martina perform 4 or more times, including the 500 this year. I have never been able to get close to her again, but the memory of her and I singing a special song for a little girl will never be forgotten. When all is said and done, Martina will go down in history bigger than Patsy Cline, and that's saying something.
My this find you in good health, and know you are included in my prayers.
Carole Ann
On Sat, Nov 27, 2010 at 10:19 AM, leigh51 said:
Just seen your blog about your son. Hope everything went well. I went with all 3 of my girls for that procedure and it was never easy.
Very proud to call you my friend Heidi, your " I'm his mother" is a line I have more times than I can count. Us mom's have every right to know what is going on with our children, no matter how old they get. 2 of my girls have documentation for me to get their information if necessary.
Tommy should be fine now. You only have to do this one more time..uggghhhh
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.
Leigh